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Grockle Translator


1. "Gurt lush" – Very nice; absolutely divine; heavenly in extreme.

2. "Wossup wi’ee?" – How the devil are you, old friend?

3. "Cheers Drive!" – Thank you so much driver for a middling-to-wonderful transportation experience.

4. "I baint finnikee!" – I am not at all fussy and I'm offended by your accusation!

5. "Whirr be she vrom?" – From where does this lady emanate? Because it certainly isn't from around here.

6. "Is they yur chillurn?" – May I enquire for some random reason whether these childen are the fruit of your loins?

7. "Urza a good’n, inn’er?" – It must be said that that lady is well-respected/banging.

8. "If I’d a-knowed, I ooden a-went." – If I had prior knowledge about how shit this event would be, I would never have ventured out of the house.

9. "Art’noon!" – Afternoon!

10. "I do ‘ope that snow pitches." – It is my wish that the snow currently falling will settle on the ground.

11. "I casn’t grumble." – My current emotional state is neither happy nor sad.

12. "Where's ee got to?" – Where on earth could he be, he's been gone for an extraordinarily long time?

13. "Gid out wi’ee!" – I'm tired of you and would like you to leave promptly.

14. "Gitten dimpsey." – It is becoming dark, just in case you yourself hadn't noticed that.

15. "Ouzez thisisis?" – To whom does this belong?

16. "Prapper job" – The genuine article; a task performed with commendable skill and acumen.

17. "Up tuther zide-a feeyuld." – The far side of the field. You came in through the wrong gate, you bint.

18. "She’z be’ind ‘ee wiva gurt big ztick." – She’s behind you with a ludicrously large stick.

19. "Wasser doin?" – What is she up to? I must know!

20. "Whirr be gwain to?" – Where are you going? Everything you could possibly need is in this small village. Why ever leave?

21. "Backalong." – A while ago – could be last Thursday or thirty-five before.

22. "I spec it be chockful by now." – I have a terribly strong feeling that it will be absolutely full by now.

23. "Tid’n my daps, is’n?" – I can't believe these are my plimsolls. Are they really?

24. "He ain’t niver bin galllivantin!" – I am shocked that the man you speak of has been straying from home; please confirm this piece of gossip and don't skimp on the details.

25. "Come inyer and wet thee whizzle." – Do come inside and have a beverage or seven.

26. "Well ah, tint a waspe tis a dumbledore!" – Wait, I can confirm this is not a wasp it's a bumblebee, after all. Resume picnic!

27. "Whirr zer bin to?" – I demand to know where on earth she/he has been!

28. "S’right nottlin, sno." – It’s incredibly cold, wouldn't you agree?

29. "Eye sorer war shin." – I must admit I spied her washing.

30. "Cordin eye, stimey wenoam" – In my humble but entirely correct opinion, it is time this man went home.

31. "Dough-knee get ‘ammered!" – Don't you dare come home drunk!

32. "My azwell gwoam." – I might as well go home because this is terrible.

33. "Ark-a-ee!" – Stop what you are doing and listen to the incredibly important words this man is speaking!

34. "Owvee dun? Avvee dun awright?" – I would like to know how you are doing with a given task? Is your performance as you would have expected it?

35. "Bleedin’ turbull, atcherly." – Absolutely terrible, actually. And things are unlikely to improve for me.

36. "Well I be jiggered!" – Well I'll be a son-of-a gun, this news has absolutely floored me!

37. "I’m ztarvin, waffee got tweet?" – I couldn't be more hungry and this leads me to wonder what exactly we have to eat around here?

38. "Don’t tell I, tell ee!" – Don’t tell me, tell me.

39."Grockles" - The true West Country word for tourists.

40. "All right me luvver, ‘ows yer tracter?" – I'm from London and I think I'm pretty funny right now.


At our campsite, you'll find a proper pub, mind,

Wi' zider and ale of the finest kind!

Folks come from near and far, seeking a good dose,

O' laughter, live music, and a zider overdose.

Our zider's proper strong, a warnin' in place,

It spins yer head, your worries it erase.

Some reckon they're immune, a mighty claim,

But our zider shows 'em true weight and frame.

In our humble barn, the band ignites,

Their melodies and rhythms, pure musical delights.

Guitars strummin', drums beatin' loud,

A proper symphony of sounds, drawin' in the crowd.

So join us, me lover, in this campsite retreat,

Where zider, laughter, and good fun do meet.

Leave your worries behind, let your spirit soar,

Fer here, great times reign forevermore!

Tuckers in a nutshell
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